At death's door: man on Spanish holiday survives purely on Fanta limón and Lay's crisps

Holiday enthusiast Eric Edmunds has returned from a two-week break to Tenerife horrendously malnourished after consuming only Lay's crisps and lemon Fanta for the entire duration of his trip.

However, a defiant Edmunds tweeted from his hospital bed,  "Life is too short for salad!"

Doctors have confirmed that Edmunds' thinking is correct and he has shortened his life significantly.

He went on to describe the effects of his holiday diet.

"The doctors are astonished as I simultaneously lost and gained weight at the same time.

"Most of my teeth have fallen out and a my burps will forever taste like something called 'jamon'.

"Also, my urine is fizzy. I can feel the bubbles when it comes out.

"It's actually pretty pleasant.

"When I travel abroad I like to immerse myself in the local culture. And if that means eating twelve big bags of crisps everyday then so be it."

Dr Hargreaves, who treated Eric on his return, was deeply concerned when he saw his patient.

"Initially, we turned Eric away from hospital and tried to send him to a vet as we mistook him for a pregnant greyhound.

"He's lucky to be alive. He was one bag of paprika crisps away from total organ failure.

"We have strongly advised that he return to a healthy British diet of fish fingers and Carling immediately."