M.J Hughes Nov 14, 20241 min readRelief as 90s band only play 2 songs from new album on latest tourAn indie band who were popular in the 1990s have delighted fans by mostly leaving out songs from their latest album as part of their...
M.J Hughes Nov 8, 20241 min readMiddle-aged couple erupt into spontaneous orgasms after getting three loads of washing dried in a single dayMary and Simon Smith, both 45, took advantage of some rare British sunshine, managing to wash and dry three loads of laundry in a single...
M.J Hughes Sep 11, 20221 min readMan can only afford fancy trainers for midlife crisisThe cost of living crisis has hit the nation's most vulnerable. However, no-one is suffering more than middle-class, middle-aged men. One...
M.J Hughes Sep 5, 20222 min readDinner in a Morrisons cafe and other uniquely depressing British ways to dineFrom Madrid to Mumbai, foreign foodies look to our shores with envy. That last sentence is, of course, horseshit. British people have...
M.J Hughes Aug 1, 20221 min read'Lad' announces plans to wear football top constantly on holiday no matter how stinky B.O getsEnglish holiday maker Simon Stevens has revealed that he plans to wear his West Ham kit every single day of his holiday. Despite the fact...
M.J Hughes Jul 21, 20221 min readAt death's door: man on Spanish holiday survives purely on Fanta limón and Lay's crispsHoliday enthusiast Eric Edmunds has returned from a two-week break to Tenerife horrendously malnourished after consuming only Lay's...
M.J Hughes Jul 13, 20221 min readBojo to take award winning shitshow on final tourBoris Johnson has announced that he is taking his spectacular clusterfuck on the road after a sold out London run. It will be his final...
M.J Hughes Jun 12, 20221 min readMiraculous new diet will get you beach body ready, lies InternetLocal porker Simon Stevens has vowed to lose a chunk of flab for his summer holiday this year; despite knowing full well that the fitness...
M.J Hughes Jun 9, 20221 min read"Banging experimental Amish electronic jazz" - Radiohead to release Love Island soundtrackBrit rockers Radiohead have been chosen ahead of The Cure and Nick Cave to record the soundtrack for this year's Love Island. Lead singer...
M.J Hughes May 6, 20221 min readWorking class family save £2.5 million by switching to supermarket own brandsThe Williams family have managed to knock an astonishing £2.5 million off their monthly food bill by simply switching from name brands to...
M.J Hughes Apr 24, 20221 min read25-year-old Umbro football shorts given Viking funeralFootball enthusiast Simon Smith, 43, has given his Umbro 5-a-side shorts a fitting final farewell after they disintigrated during game at...
M.J Hughes Apr 17, 20221 min readDivorced dads riot over cut-price Easter eggsSupermarkets have seen choas akin to that of Black Friday sales after they reduced the price of their Easter eggs. Hordes of divorced...
M.J Hughes Apr 10, 20221 min readSatirical news headline much funnier than rest of articleA story written for satirical news site Onionmash has left readers deeply disappointed. Its amusing headline led readers to believe they...
M.J Hughes Mar 23, 20222 min read'Do I have to shave my back for this?' The middle-aged guide to romanceCan't be arsed with showing affection to your partner as you settle into the grey abyss of being middle aged? Fair enough. Can't be arsed...
M.J Hughes Feb 27, 20221 min readUnrepentant, frostbitten teenager wears new trainers in 4ft of snowUnrepentant, frostbitten teenager wears new trainers in 4ft of snow A 15-year-old boy has been rushed to hospital after he ignored his...
M.J Hughes Jan 31, 20221 min readPack of chihuahuas hunt down jogger in parkA local jogger has been attacked by multiple yappy muts while he was running laps of a nearby park. David Douglas went for his bi-weekly...
M.J Hughes Jan 27, 20222 min readNobody can be arsed visiting friends who live abroadWhen Trish and Tommy Talbot moved to Australia, they thought they'd be inundated with folk visiting them all year round. However, it...
M.J Hughes Jan 15, 20222 min readFindus Crispy Pancakes and other poisonous muck fed to kids in the '90sChildren of 1990s were made of tough stuff. These hardy individuals survived some of the most awful things to happen to food in modern...
M.J Hughes Dec 20, 20211 min readPrison sentences for people who eat apple coresThe government has announced punitive measures for those who insist on eating apple cores. From tomorrow, the act will result in a two...
M.J Hughes Nov 10, 20211 min readDenim jeans introduced to NewcastleNewcastle has been changed forever after pairs of blue denim jeans arrived in the city, replacing the ubiquitous grey trackie bottom....
