Can't be arsed with showing affection to your partner as you settle into the grey abyss of being middle aged? Fair enough.
Can't be arsed with showing affection to your partner as you settle into the grey abyss of being middle aged? Fair enough.
But if you still have a flicker romance left in your aching body, here are some tips to make the most of things.
Gifts
Gifts are an expression of love. So should you buy your partner gifts? Absolutely not. Chances are they're in the same socio-economic group as you and already own all the stuff they need.
They won't appreciate that Body Shop scrub. It'll just go into the back of the cupboard with the rest of your failed attempts at affection.
Breath
Be aware that the gallons of coffee and booze that you put away each week in order to function will inevitably leave your breath smelling tonsil stone fresh.
However, bad breath can be a great deterrent if your partner is bothering you for sex or a conversation.
Hair
Not the nice hair on your head, but the stuff in other places.
Should you shave your pubic hair just to fit in with society's beauty standards? Yes, because you're part of society, dum-dum.
Exercise
Getting a sweat on is important to help maintain a healthy physical relationship with your partner.
They might tell you that they don't care if you're getting a bit doughy around the middle, but watch their eyes next time you both walk past a gym. They aren't eyeing up that rowing machine.
Humour
Making jokes is a great way to paper over the cracks in your relationship and dwindling mental health.
Making time for each other
Date nights are vitally important for any relationship. Why not try silently staring at each other over pint of Stella and white wine down the local? Or sitting on separate ends of the sofa blankly consuming Netflix?
Your partner's stupid hobbies
Taking an interest in your partner's hobbies is a great way to nurture closeness.
It may not be your cup of tea, but why not lend a hand in the garden or help attach the nipple clamps at their favourite BDSM parlour?
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