Office worker Simon Smith has let it be known to anyone who is willing to listen that he completed the London Marathon.
However, not a single one of his colleagues believes he finished.
Or even came close.
From what his colleagues could see, Smith's training regime mostly included telling everyone in his office that he was, "hitting the gym at lunch", despite the fact he would still eat his usual two bags of Monster Munch and Pot Noodle.
Smith's colleague, Celine Dawson, believes Simon was talking up his marathon entry in an attempt to impress her.
“Simon spent last week marching around, clearly sucking in his gut, droning on about how important it is to stretch before working out. He would then try to stretch by awkwardly leaning to one side, lose his balance and then try to hide it by turning it into a little jog.
“He kept a protein shake for all to see on his desk and he constantly bragged about how delicious they are. The only time I ever saw him take a gulp, he made a face like he'd just swallowed diarrhea.”
Despite only joining a gym a week before the race, Smith was always confident he could complete the grueling challenge.
“I’ve spent hundreds of pounds on running shoes and energy gels so that made up for any training sessions I might have skipped because of bad weather, injury or having a pizza instead.
“A few people around the office didn't believe I could do it, but I definitely did and it was for charity so you can't even question me.”
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