When Trish and Tommy Talbot moved to Australia, they thought they'd be inundated with folk visiting them all year round. However, it turns out that not a single one of their friends can be bothered.
Mrs Talbot explained further:
"When we bought the house we made sure there was a pool and a BBQ area for entertaining.
"But not a single one of our bastarding friends has made the trip out to see us.
"We've had to try and make friends with the locals and its hard to understand them because they speak funny."
Stacey Smith, who has known the Talbots for over 10 years, gave her reasons for not visiting.
"When the Talbots moved, we promised we'd visit. But Australia is fucking miles away and I'm not sitting on a plane for 24 hours with my two annoying as fuck children only to stay with them and their annoying as fuck children.
"There's also the cost. Yes, we could save money staying with Tommy and Trish but they live in the suburbs. What would we do when they go work? Go to the local skate park then the fucking library?!
"If we stayed with her, she'd expect us to help out around the house to earn our keep. I'm not helping you hang up your husband's pants on the washing line, Trish.
"All I want to do on holiday is be hammered by midday.
"One of the great holiday joys for me and my husband is going to an Irish bar and drunkenly dueting 'Don't Go Breaking My Heart' at karaoke.
"Our kids cringe under the table with embarrassment; it's so bad they won't even film it on their phones.
"There's no way that's happening at Trish and Tommy's. Unless they get some sort of karaoke game on the Playstation which would be utterly shit."
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